A Slightly Irrational Fear...

A few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night panicked...I was sweating, my heart was racing and my hands were shaking. I was terrified. What could have caused such a strong reaction? I realized that I would have to wear SENSIBLE SHOES. Yup, that's right...I'm terrified. I love shoes - the higher the heel the better. I'm not such a fan of sensible. Anyone can look at my shoe collection and see a wide assortment of heels. Don't get me wrong - I have flats - ballet slippers, flip flops, tennis shoes...they don't really get worn that often. So, I did what any shoe lover would have done. I woke up Matt who was sound asleep to ask him for advice. I believe his exact words were - Are you kidding me? Go to sleep. Clearly, he wasn't as concerned as I was (and if I'm being completely honest still am). However, I was able to come up with a solution for now.

I have been planning my outfits around my shoes. I have to wear them all while I can still see my feet and before my feet start to swell. I have started to look for the dreaded sensible shoes. People let me tell you...IT IS NOT GOOD! Matt says I should just find some flats that I like and call it a day. Obviously, he doesn't get it.

Don't get me wrong. This is not the only fear that I have. I constantly worry about whether or not Matt and I will be good parents; if I will be able to physically give birth (yes, I realize it's a little too late to worry about this now); will our child be healthy; will we have enough money. The difference is - these don't wake me up in the middle of the night. These are things that freak me out all day every day...these are things that Matt can understand and he shares these fears with me. When I talk about these fears people are helpful, they provide advice and it actually makes me feel better. When I mention the shoe thing...people just laugh.

Since that night, some of the fear of having to wear sensible shoes has gone away. I'm hopeful that it will disappear completely once I find a cute pair of sensible shoes. Until then, I can't promise that I won't wake up in a cold sweat worried about the fate of my shoe collection.