The laundry detergent manufacturers and the baby clothes makers are in cahoots. How else do you explain all of the white clothes for babies? This is the only possible explanation for it. I used to think that the reason was because babies are new and fresh, now I realize it's a tactic to get you to buy more laundry detergent.
Momnesia is real...don't fight it. Since having children, I have walked around for a half hour looking for my phone, only to find it...in my hand! I have forgotten the diaper bag. I have forgotten more than I could possibly remember. Besides, momnesia has to be real. If moms didn't forget how crappy their pregnancies were and how much labor hurts - there would be way more only children. Seriously, who would knowingly have more than one kid if they could remember?
Poo-plosions happen - mostly when you least expect it and nearly always in public. I'm not talking about a little leak. We're talking explosions that are so nasty the poo actually makes an exit out of the front of the diaper, as well as the back AND the legs. Be sure to keep an emergency outfit in your diaper bag. See above and stock up on Oxiclean.
You will be more tired than you have ever been in your entire life. Those first few weeks of sleep deprivation are really, really bad. You will wonder why your sweet baby hates you. But don't worry...it gets better.
Labor and delivery probably won't go the way you think it will. You can't script it out. With Connor I was certain that I was going to go into labor early. Not only did I not go into labor early, I didn't go into labor on my own at all. Once I was induced he STILL didn't want to come out and I had to have a c-section. With Taylor, I went ahead and scheduled the c - section. The important thing is that Mama and Baby come through labor and delivery healthy and happy. Remember, you aren't going to get a gold medal in the Mama Olympics for how you give birth or for not having an epidural. You do what's best for you.
Speaking of the Mama Olympics - you won't win extra medals for how you feed your baby either. You won't win medals for breastfeeding and you certainly won't get kicked off the island for feeding your precious baby formula either. If you want to give breastfeeding a shot, by all means, go for it. There is a lot of support out there. Don't be too hard on yourself if you can't breastfeed - it's not easy for everyone.
Your baby is going to throw you LOTS of curve balls. Just when you think that you have your baby all figured out - they pull the rug right out from under you. When Taylor first came home from the hospital, she was eating every 2 hours. Right when I got used to that - she started eating EVERY.SINGLE.HOUR. Once I stopped crying from that switch up, and accepted it - she decided to eat every three hours. See below.
Enjoy having all of the answers now because once your baby gets here, they will make a liar out of you! Before I had children, I had a long list of "my children will never." Uh, yeah, that list went right out the window the day we brought Connor home from the hospital. My child will never sleep in our room - Connor slept in our room until he was 4 months old. Taylor sleeps in our room now. My child will never watch TV...Connor loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sesame Street. My child will never throw a temper tantrum in public...When I was 7 months pregnant with Taylor, I had to carry Connor out of the PlayPlace like a sack of potatoes because he REFUSED to leave. Oh, and the one that has made the biggest liar out of me yet...my child will not have fast food. You should see how excited Connor gets when we walk in with a happy meal.
Don't be a hero. If someone offers you help - take it. If someone offers to bring you a meal - take it! You don't have to do everything yourself. You don't even have to wait for someone to offer. ASK FOR HELP!
And finally...Being a parent - a mama especially- is not for the easily scared, squeamish or the faint of heart. You will be puked on, pooped on and peed on. Your children will break your heart. The first time Connor cried a real tear - I sobbed. Taylor cried a real tear today and I sobbed. When they are sick, you will feel awful. BUT...Your children make all of the crappy parts worth it just by smiling at you!
Welcome to parenthood! You're going to love it!
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